I'm such a failure
Hopefully the title was enough to get your attention. if not, maybe just the fact that i blogged for the first time in 10 days will do the trick. there have been a few new things that have occured since i last blogged. to open this blog i would like to note that i am excited about life. i dont remember the last time i really felt this way. As i go to that heinous place, and do that hated things they call public education, i am stricken with the feelings of guilt and deperity that are so sadly prevalent in the school and community i live in. That recognition coupled with the hope that i feel every day in knowing that i have been truly blessed, blows me away. The truth that there are soo many people that i come in contact with that i should readily share my faith with and dont is frustrating, as it should be, but as i continue to grow i know it wont get any easier, it will just become more and more difficult to overcome the obstacles that people are faced with. Thank God that He is the one that has to deal with that, and that I am just to work FOR him. that is point #1. Life isnt even about me. It is a weird feeling to grasp. The life i am living at this moment is to be selfless and lived only to the pursuit of.. pleasing... God. (not happiness, or myself, respecitvely)
As the mission's trip draws nearer, i cant help but have doubts. excuses are like candy, (apologies to Jayne and Kelsie for my analogies) they are so easy to pick up, and get in the habit of taking advantage of, and then you are at a loss when they are no longer available. correlation to doubts? both are of satan. God wouldnt want you to doubt your testimony, becuase it is, as He is. and doubts only make us more easily tuned in to the idea that we are in control, when we are not. i was struck dumb, no comment required (but comments are nice :) ) by something that was said at Rubbish a few weeks ago. our leader was talking about an inspection that took place at his work, and being one of the supervisors he was responsible for not only making sure that his things were in order, but also those of the people under him. he was a small minority when it came to his approach to the inevitable stress that came with this inspection. he was asked how he thought things were going to go, and his response was simple. "it will go however it is supposed to go." how divine. the idea is that things will go as they are planned to go. you wont do better then you are suposed to do just because you work really hard. God is in control of all of that. it was an amazing revelation especially considering that i had the ACT last Saturday. i studied a little bit, but it was the comfort i took going into it that made the difference in how i looked at it.
Ok, maybe i will get off of my soap box for a few paragraphs or so. there are only like 30 days of school left in this school year! i am rather excited about this. this summer is set to be amazing. we have summer sizzle (name pending), and i will be working morning and afternoons throughout the summer, then we have my brother's wedding, and mission's trip, and summer blast, then my BIRTHDAY!! so busy, and a few mowing jobs in between. BUSY! but exciting none-the-less.
Not very excited about the seniors who will be heading off to college. i have really made some meaningful relationships this last year. Nathan, Thomas, Craig, other CP people, Jayne, Maddie, .. and there are others but im at a loss right now. i am willing to edit my list if you leave me a comment though. but those 5 that i just named specifically have made huge impacts on my life over the last 365 days (roughly) and there have defnitely been memories made. i realize this blog is a little premature, i mean, they still have to graduate first. it would probably be a good idea to NOT fail calc jayne. it wouldnt look very good.
This last week i: had a track meet, 4 soccer games, two days of service to my church, a few late night talks, a walk through the woods (i totally saw deer, it was awesome) a birthday party, a day off of school, and 5 times of watching The Incredible. (that was probably the coolest animated movies ever) there are other things that happened but, i would have to restate my last sentence of 2 paragraphs.
well, i look forward to these last few weeks of April, as hectic as they will be, then i have prom! very excited for that as well. i realize this is really long, and that many people probably won even read it just for that fact. that is the main problem with not updating more often. maybe i will learn from this experience. have a good week.
As the mission's trip draws nearer, i cant help but have doubts. excuses are like candy, (apologies to Jayne and Kelsie for my analogies) they are so easy to pick up, and get in the habit of taking advantage of, and then you are at a loss when they are no longer available. correlation to doubts? both are of satan. God wouldnt want you to doubt your testimony, becuase it is, as He is. and doubts only make us more easily tuned in to the idea that we are in control, when we are not. i was struck dumb, no comment required (but comments are nice :) ) by something that was said at Rubbish a few weeks ago. our leader was talking about an inspection that took place at his work, and being one of the supervisors he was responsible for not only making sure that his things were in order, but also those of the people under him. he was a small minority when it came to his approach to the inevitable stress that came with this inspection. he was asked how he thought things were going to go, and his response was simple. "it will go however it is supposed to go." how divine. the idea is that things will go as they are planned to go. you wont do better then you are suposed to do just because you work really hard. God is in control of all of that. it was an amazing revelation especially considering that i had the ACT last Saturday. i studied a little bit, but it was the comfort i took going into it that made the difference in how i looked at it.
Ok, maybe i will get off of my soap box for a few paragraphs or so. there are only like 30 days of school left in this school year! i am rather excited about this. this summer is set to be amazing. we have summer sizzle (name pending), and i will be working morning and afternoons throughout the summer, then we have my brother's wedding, and mission's trip, and summer blast, then my BIRTHDAY!! so busy, and a few mowing jobs in between. BUSY! but exciting none-the-less.
Not very excited about the seniors who will be heading off to college. i have really made some meaningful relationships this last year. Nathan, Thomas, Craig, other CP people, Jayne, Maddie, .. and there are others but im at a loss right now. i am willing to edit my list if you leave me a comment though. but those 5 that i just named specifically have made huge impacts on my life over the last 365 days (roughly) and there have defnitely been memories made. i realize this blog is a little premature, i mean, they still have to graduate first. it would probably be a good idea to NOT fail calc jayne. it wouldnt look very good.
This last week i: had a track meet, 4 soccer games, two days of service to my church, a few late night talks, a walk through the woods (i totally saw deer, it was awesome) a birthday party, a day off of school, and 5 times of watching The Incredible. (that was probably the coolest animated movies ever) there are other things that happened but, i would have to restate my last sentence of 2 paragraphs.
well, i look forward to these last few weeks of April, as hectic as they will be, then i have prom! very excited for that as well. i realize this is really long, and that many people probably won even read it just for that fact. that is the main problem with not updating more often. maybe i will learn from this experience. have a good week.
posted by Andrew Crandall at 6:30 PM
3 Comments:
ooh ooh! what about me?!
-ben
PS™ don't worry...i haven't had an impact on you...yet. But with working this summer...and Missions trip, you're going to be getting all the Ben you could ever want!
Rach here.
(My name wasn't working cuz Kels if you read this, I don't know our new password! So I couldn't publish a blog even if I wanted to because I can't get onto the site.)
Hey Crandall. I haven't talked to you in forever. I also haven't blogged in forever! Ah. Business. You know how it goes. It's actually kind of stupid that I'm commenting because you've posted another post since this one, but ah well. I liked this one better out of the two. :) I enjoyed reading your "soap box" and I'm real glad to see how excited you are about Christ and what He's doing in your life! It's contagious and inspires me as well, so thanks and keep it up! We need to all have a get together! I'll talk to you later.
Where did you find it? Interesting read » »
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