moving on.. moving up
so much time and consideration, only to be wrong?
given the chance, and dropping the ball.
making empty promises, one's never to be kept; to self; to God.
never in the sense that at no point, in making those promises did one ever feel like what they were saying was true and good.
a clear decision, that through guilt and total dissatisfaction with self, self was no longer good enough.
self was never good enough.
deeds were never good enough.
I was never good enough.
I will NEVER be good enough.
I CANNOT do this on my own.
Mistakes are a way of life, not a chosen path, or an easy way out, but they do happen.
no matter what, as long as you are trying to please God, you will never leave the path He has set before you in life. never.
the risk is not taking the chance, it is the chance not taken.
you are liable not for the mistakes you make but the times you make the mistake and dont fix it.
Discernment is not from people. it is God's way of keeping our emotions and hearts in check in order for His spirit to be able to fulfill our souls with all that God has in store for us.
"People often want direct and clear guidance in areas of their lives that cause them stress or concern. We fear to choose mates, jobs etc. We worry that we might cause ourselves or our loved ones grief. But even mistakes are part of God's program for our growth and development, never fear! Obey the Word and know that you can not step outside of God's will. For after all, in Him we move and live and have our being" (Steve Shermett)
finally, a list worth noting! if nothing more.. that was more a story of where i have been in my life. some more recently then others. some revisited. but the step by step of recognition of not being good enough for heaven, and accepting that fact, in my life.
moving heavily away from the controversial post.. or the not so controversial post, however you look at it. after my last post i had my second soccer game of the day, in which we lost 3-0. it was a closer game then the score would indicate, and taking into consideration the fact that the team we lost to had won their semi-final 6-0 and has won the last 2 state championships, and 6 of the last 7, it was not such a big deal to have lost. 2nd in state is not bad anyway. i had fun playing with the kids from wichita. they were very accepting, thankfully. maybe i will play for them again, i dont know. the wedding started on thursday.. yea, thursday, when joel and his girlfriend lorie got to Topeka. she is very nice, a real keeper.. matt and laura lee got here on thursday night. friday afternoon kayla arrived. friday night was wedding rehersal. that went well. we had dinner with the whole wedding party, which was a lot of fun. got to meet some of matt's inlaws. "yeah" for holidays getting hectic!! the wedding was saturday morning. the boys had our pictures at 10. this meant getting up at 8. no big deal. we got done and left to get some coffee so the girls could get there and not be seen. that would have worked, had the girls been on time. so they had to do their pictures after the wedding. how typical. the wedding itself went well. all in all it was a fairly unstressful day. thank God. i also didnt play a huge part, so that may not be the case for any weddings i am a part of in the future. we had lunch with the wedding guests at 12:15. the reception was at 2, and we left by 5:45 or 6. thank you's to everyone who helped out at all, or participated. it made things so much easier on me at least. matt and laura lee left for their honeymoon saturday after the wedding, and kayla left sunday morning, and joel and lorie left sunday afternoon. HECTIC HECTIC HECTIC.. not hectic. it ended twice as fast as it started. it was a lot of fun having everyone around. in case you guys didnt know, i just had a brother get married, and i have sister who got engaged a couple weeks ago. i am extremely happy for the both of them. many things to come i guess. i will try to get a link to some pictures from the wedding and rehersal stuff soon. i am not exactly competent with digital cameras and such.
i played soccer like 12 times in the last 2 weeks. i decided i need a break. maybe a week or two will allow me some healing time. well, work beckons. summer blast approaches!! i should go register.. hmm.. i hope power trip was awesome. softball was fun last night. we won 16-8, but were forced to forfeit. go figure. we cant catch a break. we played really well too. oh well. it was fun none-the-less. have a great week.
given the chance, and dropping the ball.
making empty promises, one's never to be kept; to self; to God.
never in the sense that at no point, in making those promises did one ever feel like what they were saying was true and good.
a clear decision, that through guilt and total dissatisfaction with self, self was no longer good enough.
self was never good enough.
deeds were never good enough.
I was never good enough.
I will NEVER be good enough.
I CANNOT do this on my own.
Mistakes are a way of life, not a chosen path, or an easy way out, but they do happen.
no matter what, as long as you are trying to please God, you will never leave the path He has set before you in life. never.
the risk is not taking the chance, it is the chance not taken.
you are liable not for the mistakes you make but the times you make the mistake and dont fix it.
Discernment is not from people. it is God's way of keeping our emotions and hearts in check in order for His spirit to be able to fulfill our souls with all that God has in store for us.
"People often want direct and clear guidance in areas of their lives that cause them stress or concern. We fear to choose mates, jobs etc. We worry that we might cause ourselves or our loved ones grief. But even mistakes are part of God's program for our growth and development, never fear! Obey the Word and know that you can not step outside of God's will. For after all, in Him we move and live and have our being" (Steve Shermett)
finally, a list worth noting! if nothing more.. that was more a story of where i have been in my life. some more recently then others. some revisited. but the step by step of recognition of not being good enough for heaven, and accepting that fact, in my life.
moving heavily away from the controversial post.. or the not so controversial post, however you look at it. after my last post i had my second soccer game of the day, in which we lost 3-0. it was a closer game then the score would indicate, and taking into consideration the fact that the team we lost to had won their semi-final 6-0 and has won the last 2 state championships, and 6 of the last 7, it was not such a big deal to have lost. 2nd in state is not bad anyway. i had fun playing with the kids from wichita. they were very accepting, thankfully. maybe i will play for them again, i dont know. the wedding started on thursday.. yea, thursday, when joel and his girlfriend lorie got to Topeka. she is very nice, a real keeper.. matt and laura lee got here on thursday night. friday afternoon kayla arrived. friday night was wedding rehersal. that went well. we had dinner with the whole wedding party, which was a lot of fun. got to meet some of matt's inlaws. "yeah" for holidays getting hectic!! the wedding was saturday morning. the boys had our pictures at 10. this meant getting up at 8. no big deal. we got done and left to get some coffee so the girls could get there and not be seen. that would have worked, had the girls been on time. so they had to do their pictures after the wedding. how typical. the wedding itself went well. all in all it was a fairly unstressful day. thank God. i also didnt play a huge part, so that may not be the case for any weddings i am a part of in the future. we had lunch with the wedding guests at 12:15. the reception was at 2, and we left by 5:45 or 6. thank you's to everyone who helped out at all, or participated. it made things so much easier on me at least. matt and laura lee left for their honeymoon saturday after the wedding, and kayla left sunday morning, and joel and lorie left sunday afternoon. HECTIC HECTIC HECTIC.. not hectic. it ended twice as fast as it started. it was a lot of fun having everyone around. in case you guys didnt know, i just had a brother get married, and i have sister who got engaged a couple weeks ago. i am extremely happy for the both of them. many things to come i guess. i will try to get a link to some pictures from the wedding and rehersal stuff soon. i am not exactly competent with digital cameras and such.
i played soccer like 12 times in the last 2 weeks. i decided i need a break. maybe a week or two will allow me some healing time. well, work beckons. summer blast approaches!! i should go register.. hmm.. i hope power trip was awesome. softball was fun last night. we won 16-8, but were forced to forfeit. go figure. we cant catch a break. we played really well too. oh well. it was fun none-the-less. have a great week.
posted by Andrew Crandall at 9:28 AM
3 Comments:
hey drew, so you're writing was really good. i think u know how i am jealous of ppl that can write so i applaude you. sounds like u came to a really good realization. and the wedding...how exciting. i really should go to one sometime. it must be soo cool to have a bunch of siblings and have them get married and then have ur big family get even bigger! wow i am jealous of you. i want to be apart of it. looks like i'll just have to marry your little brother then. haha ok well that's about all i have to say. i feel like i haven't talked to you in forever! where are our "late niters" or phone calls. and when am i getting my cd?!?!?
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yo crandall, susanna has this killer picture of your family back in the day on her photobucket; and basically your hair is longer. props buddy.
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