Thoughts Upon Return

It feels great to be home. I really appreciated the time away, trust me, and the nice weather was extremely nice too. The car trips were more easily handled with the CD's I was given. thank you so much to those who took the time to make me them. i really appreciate that. A big family is nice most of the time, but most of you can atest that there are times when your family just drives you out of your mind. and when you all are in close proximitities for long periods of time, some just cant handle it. i survived, i guess.

While in Florida we went to the beach and I even saw an alligator! it was awesome. i wasnted to see a big one, but it only took about 15 minutes upon arrival that we saw one sunning itself on a fountain in the middle of this lake that was only about 30 feet across. the fountain was attached to the land by this cord, and i wanted to pull on it to see the gator move. i started down toward the water and all i saw was all these bubbles starting in a line toward me. that was pretty disconcerting, so i backed off pretty fast.

I had my first real experience in Halo 2, and i took it in a large dose. We stayed with my sister's boyfriend while were there, the boys did that is, and there were two consecutive nights of 2 a.m. mornings where we had been up playing X-Box. prolly a total of 10 hours of Halo last week. I am not that good, but i loved it. We went to the beach, which was a new experience for me, and that was really cool too. it was overcast but it was still 75 degrees, so i wasnt complaining. i got a mediocre tan but that wasnt really the important thing.

Through the whole trip though, from the girl on the highway to the peeing in the ocean story, all and all it was a good trip. I could have sworn that i gained 5 pounds, at least, but it turns out i may have ended up losing weight. how depressing. the story of my life i guess. on the way home, my eyes were opened to the number of roadside memorials that were along the highway. i probably saw 12-15 during a 7-8 hour stretch which isnt very exciting, but being the spastic writer i am, which is probably more accurately described as being picky and needing heavy inspiration, i decided to write, so here is what i came up with.

Crosses Aren't Enough
Along the road, symbols of death,
the signs point to lives of those lost.
Point in the direction of a simple truth,
Truth that escapes none and Touches most.

Blood. It is everywhere. Used to paint the picture
A picture that reflects the events unwitnessed by those onlooking.
Innocent eyes wonder, as minds try to grasp total understanding.
1, 2, 3.. 5.. 10 crosses, of victims remembered near the road now crossing.

Free from guilt but not of sorrow
Dissatisfaction with the earth we all live on.
Courage and integrity live on, but how
can justice be served to reality without compassion?

No symbol can describe who a person was.
The full context of their character living through
An insignificant wooden crosspiece that
No more says Buddhist more then Jew.

Perspective lives in those who have truly seen
The manitude of love of this unknown who's passed.
A murderer? Drug felon? Pastor, friend?
Only to be known when our own time ends.

It relates also to humans as well. It is sometimes hard to tell just who someone really is just by what they say or do. many times people put up a "cross" to give the impression that people want to see. Sometimes it is impossible to tell whether one may see that person in heaven or not. harsh reality i am sorry, but it is true.

HAppy Easter. Hope everyone can make a smooth transition back into the whole school thing. Im sorry it has to happen too. Oh well, til next time...
P.S. Everyone should come to Stugo basketball game next Saturday at 6 @ Topeka High. IM GONNA PLAY!!

And... They're Off!!

I feel compelled to blog at "such a time as this" for a couple of reasons. Dana's blog made me think about how long I had had mine, and sure enough today is my one month anniversary! as of last night, i had a combined (between my last stupid counter and my new one) 700 hits!! Every one of which is appreciated. As are every one of you, no matter how long I have known you, or how many times I have commented on your blog.

I also look back at the last month of my life, in retrospect, to get a better idea of where i have come. Some of the highlights include:
Having Kayla, Kevin, My cousin (Marshmallow) and her friend (Hamburger) and my brother Matt and his girlfriend (Laura Lee) all here at THE SAME TIME! that was a pretty awesome day, and week as Kayla and Kevin (her boyfriend) stayed a few more days.
Getting the chance to meet some new people, a.k.a alot of the TCCC youth group, and being able to hang out with Kelsie and Rachel as well. I really look forward to continued involvement with a great group of people upon return. Also, having gone out for track this year, i have met some cool people through that as well. Even though yesterday really showed me where i was at, and that was nowhere close to where I wish I was, that doesnt change. I have gotten alot of help, and even though i have never ran the sport myself, people have been open to advice and that has been a nice blessing.
Wednesday night groups at church have been amazing as well. They have been so beneficial, and in times like today, and our generation in general, the kinds of "radical" ideas that are being taught are so.. i dont know, its just an amazing time to be able to talk about somewhat controversial topics with some people that wouldnt usually have an effect on your life, and give them a chance to change the way you look at things for the betterment of yourself. its a gift to be able to lower your ego enough to do that. i am thankful that that has been possible for me.
Grow closer in some friendships. There doesnt require a lot of explanation. when you are given the opportunity to allow yourself to open up, and be a helping hand, whether that requires you to take the initiative and maybe that means that you have to give more, then by all means, do it. You will look back at your investment, and hopefully you will see that friend, and just how far you have come. I pray that things will continue to grow solidly and as they are meant to be grown, and if you do it right, Lord willing, the future is boundless.

Sorry, for some that may have felt like a lot of sap.

I look forward to this time of the year every year. MARCH MADNESS!! KU is not playing as strong as in some years in the past, but if the last 3 are of ne testament, and their seniors have been solid most of the year, then they really have potential to do well this year. 9:50 (Eastern Time) Friday!! I cant wait. If we lose to Bucknell, who happens to be a huge threat... My sleeper of the year is Pitt. After a slow first round game against Pacific, they will step up and play the game of their lives agains Washington and make it to the Sweet 16. Another team to watch out for would probably be Utah. I hate to bet against the Big 12 so i wont, but beware the UTES!! this will definitely be an interesting tournament. I look forward to every game! Despite a play-in setback, i am confident that i will be correct in my last 65 predictions.

If you hadn't noticed, i am writing this at 5 o'clock in the morning! we will probably leave for Florida in about 2 hours...? maybe less. i am totally excited. i realize i will probably have to drive but this year we have a DVD player and i have 7 new CD's to listen to. Thanks completely to the generosity of some of my best friends. You both are very generous, and i hope you know what that means to me, especially with all that is going on in your own life right now, and to invest your own time in me is very special, i hope i made you feel special too! There is always that chance. I will only be gone for.. 10 days I think. if things work out on my schedule i will be home by sunday of the next week, otherwise it may be quite a while before i see any of you, if it isnt at church on Easter. I look forward to all of the stories of everyone's break, and i hope to have some of my own, but at least i will be very tan!! and none of that fake stuff. Well, there are things to be done, so i will have to sign out at this time. i look forward to talking to you guys at some point, maybe i will be able to blog sometime while there, we will see. I'm praying for all of you who are traveling, especially those who will be going out of country. i trust that you wont drink the water, and that you will all stay safe, you know i will... well, whatever works for you i guess. erin i wont forget our deal, and i hope you wont either. you are really gonna test me this weekend. this is really long, trying to make up for the lack of blogs in the last week i guess. i apologize again, and until next time... Have a great Spring Break!

Soo.. where has everyone been?

Well.. i do apologize for the extreme length of time that it has taken to write in this thing. i have been really busy, but i know that is not a good excuse. on a side note, nathan, i have been curious as to whether that was your mom or not that commented. it seems too close to that stupid commercial where those kids are smoking.. hopefully there is no trouble. anyway, i decided that this week was catch up week. given that it was the last day of the quarter today, that was prolly a good idea. i go some extra chemistry points today, which i was in need of, and i took an AP US history test today complete with a DBQ (document based question), and on top of all of that, i had a long term, turned short time, English assignment which consisted of about 6 hours of work or so, and i sure did put it off until yesterday.

So.. today at track we went through our regular regimen of warm up lap, stretch, lap, warm up drills, lap, and then we broke up into our groups. the guy sprinters went with Hoddison and Littleford, and we did 4 sets of continuous 200's. if you cant imagine it, i will try to help you with a visual. when you get done, it feels like your legs are jell-o and someone left them out.. for a long time. and then.. the hurdles coach who thinks that i am going to state in the 300 hurdles (yeah i know, for real..) called the hurdlers over to do hurdle work. it was terrible. m legs hurt soo much. i used to wonder why i hadnt tried track before this year, now not a day goes by where my body couldnt answer that question for me.

I, through the blogging and conversations that i have had with some people, have decided that there are soo many people that have been really messed up from High school relationships. i am not thinking of ne one in particular, but you know if you are one of them. my brother went through it so i have been through the same kinds of things from a personal but not personal standpoint as well. i have never really understood them personally. i know it didnt take me a long time to decide that i didnt want them ne more, but for those of you who feel strongly about them that is your call. i dont think they are beneficial for me, but i mean if you meet someone you really like and the feelings are mutual, and you both feel like the other is mature enough for the stress and struggles of a relationship with the time and circumsatnces that you havem then more power to you.

i am really looking forward to this 3 day weekend. i need a break! lol, i just got done with a 5 day weekend, now a 3 day weekend, and next week a 3 day week, then a 9 day weekend!! so i guess it will take me a little longer to get burnt out on school then some of the rest of you. thats okay with me, i am happy with where i am right now. i look forward to going to school and seeing the ones that i enjoy being around, and those that just make me laugh and be happy. life is alot about outlook. i look forward to the future, but dont look past the now. blink and you might miss something.

tonight should be a lot of fun. i get to be around some people i havent really hung out with before and i look forward to a new chance to make some new friends that will be here with me next year. hmm.. that would sure make things easier too. ah well, cherish this one, cuz there is no telling how long it will take to get another one posted. i hope to talk to everyone soon.

p.s. i was really glad to hear that theski trip was amazing. i llok forward to the rest of the stories that are out there, and would love to hear them, so feel free. have a good night.