Reflections Amidst Silence

I realize now, after about 100 hits and 0 comments that I write these things for me, not for you guys, depite what you may think. Thus, I shall produce something for my own pleasure and enjoyment, nothing one should feel compelled to share, or even acknowledge exists unless that someone feels so inclined to do so and leave a comment. Do not laugh, for this is not a laughing matter. Although, if I were trying to tell you this with a straight face, many of you would know right away that that is impossible for me. So, take this as you may, this is just a sample of what I love to do, regardless of the audience. I will let you know ahead of time that after scrawling the first few lines I was unsure of where to go with my idea. It turns out to be a little bit out of place, at such a time as this but again, take it as you may, just understand that there was little inspiration in this, and after reading it you will know why. I was just wanting to be descript with a little of the emotion of simplicity and such small things, and used a rather unrelated topic to do so. As it is...

Reflections Amidst Silence

He speaks silently, in words inaudible. Like a mouth, without a tongue. A voice so soft, the dog, on the floor awake doesn’t move. Without a sound he moves across the floor, with ease as a ball rolling across a wooden floor. His movements are simple, with such enamoring, calculated progression that had the dog been paying attention, it may now have been asleep. Slinking ever so close to the edge of the extinguished fire in the fireplace, he climbs the ten inches from the floor to the screen that encloses the embers and vapors of death. With so much ease and lack of energy, one may fault him for doing his job without vibrancy, the same vibrancy that makes this time of year the exact time of year that it is, he completes his duties as he has left his plate of cookies and milk at the table, coupled with a note that explains the actions he has thus taken, and is yet to take. He exhales deeply and takes a quick look out the window. He notices the large amount of snow that has built up amidst the lights and ornaments that glimmer off of the white sheets, untouched on the frozen ground. A living burden is lifted from the business of the season, with presents left to be delivered, yet for the moment, all is still. As he steps outside to admire the festive décor and pomp, it is finally obvious to him why he does and has to do what he does. Upon stepping into the auto by which he arrived, he was shocked at the amount of emotion required to fully grasp what it was that he felt. To the brazen home displays, no doubt completed by families, and accompanied by positive fellowship, and to the dwellings with little more then a small Christmas tree, he breathes a quick thanks as he glides away from the city and people that have, for the moment, made his life complete.

To discontinue that series of thoughts, I move to something more now, and say that I am very disappointed in not having Rubbish on Wednesday, but I guess I will have to deal and just watch KU from the home. I look forward to the weekend, although many of you will be gone.. ok, so there isnt a whole lot to look forward to, but again I will deal. Alone. But, after two years that has been something that I have become fairly good at. It happens. I bid everyone good night, and good day. Sleep well, druggies and otherwise!

The pain!!

I dont remember a morning where I woke up in more pain. It's pretty ridiculous if I do say so myself. And, i dont even know where the pain came from or why. its not even consistent. its my right arm, which i have a reason for, and the right side of my bac which is the same reason, but its also the whole lefy side of my back, my hamstrings, and neck, and i have some weird stomach thing, well it is more like my splein, or intestines, but whatever it is, it hurts. i dont mind pain usually, but back pain is the worst. and i am really curious about the stomach thing.

ne way... i had a really good time last night. i have wanted to see the Grudge for a while, and i finally got my opportunity. i thought it was pretty good, i was kinda disappointed that i didnt get to finish it. it is kinda frustrating for me becuase i hate not knowing what happens, it changes my mindset, and i would like to finish it sometime soon so i can let it go. even if i have to watch it myself. which, as itsounds, is how i will have to do it.

Does anyone have any idea why T.P. played soo much last night? Personally I didnt see it. i decided to sit down, because i could not stand to watch. It was a decision that I made as an issue of my health. it was pretty frustrating to watch yesterday, but the redeeming factor is that it is almost over. at that point, i can look forward to what is an uncertain senior year. There are a lot of uncertainties about next year. many of which I choose not to address consciously. It really isnt worth it to me. But by then who knows whether I will even want to play basketball anymore. ok, so those of you who know me very well, know that i have a very hard time passing up competition. a.k.a not enough will power to not go out next year. I also realize how that is the same reason that Ricky Williams used that he needed to retire, which is very sad, so again, who knows.

Million Dollar Baby? I dont know, it sounds good, maybe a little feedback would help my decision. i know the fellowship would be awesome, it always is, but $5.50? I dont know.

It was great to hear from my brother, and for those of you who have been unable to comment because you are not a blogger, i have fixed that so feel free to comment, it would be highly appreciated. Have a good day everyone.

They're All Gone!

Well, it was a lot of fun while it lasted. The older brother and sister + thier significant others had been here this weekend, along with my cousin and her friend from St. Louis, and since about a day and a half ago, everyone is gone. So now starts a process of getting back into a "normal" routine, which will totally depend on how hard I want to try to get things back under control.

It was a really good weekend. I guess technically my weekend isnt over. This whole 5 day weekend thing is really working out for me. go 3 days get off 5, go 4 get 2 more off. That's 7 at home and 7 at school, what a ratio!! But, after something like that a regular sleeping schedule will be all but impossible before yet another break in 3 days. That makes school practically unnecessary. How is one supposed to concentrate on work and activities when they can look ahead to a 3, 4, or 5 day weekend? school officials are not the smartest bees in the hive. (sorry I have been on an analogy tear for the last few weeks, it doesnt stop) i need some new material.

Apologies to the Tuesday morning guys. There were just other things going on this morning. Also, apologies to the CP people. I really wanted to go to the games tonight but i ended up having homework (go figure) and the rent's told me not to plan to be out tonight. how depressing! i was hoping to be there to support the senior boys. for those of you who dont know and would have made an unnecessary judge of character and labeled me a sexist right there, the Cair Paravel Latin School girls basketball team contains 0 seniors. Good luck at state one and all this weekend.

Does life ever take a break? Workaholics take breaks once and a while, but does life ever quit being stressful, and often times ridiculous? i envy the people who have already experience these times. Cursed (pronounced, in Shakespearean kur sed, or something of that sort) you married and on honeymoon people you! oh what a thought.

One more thing i dont want to talk about is the most revolting of figures in my life right now. And contrary to popular belief, it is not T.P., but J.R. Giddens. Granted, he did shoot fairly well last night, but he did try to ruin the game by fouling that guy when he made a bucket late in the game. oh thats right! He DID ruin the game. Langford really needs to work on them free throws. i shoot them better then he does, and he doesnt have an excuse. But props to Simien for just being a classy hard nosed athlete, a real role model. if only that would spill over to the drunk loving underage teammates of his. my gosh! you are supposed to be good, and not have to be told all the time. the fans are right, stiffen up, play better, something other then whine about how you are being treated and have huge birthday parties where people I know that are underage attend.

I thought i took care of all apologizing already but i realize that that tirade was not exactly necessary. It was fun, im not going to lie, but it was not necessary.

I am proud of: Tough decisions, people who make me smile, my family, those of you with strong relationships, athletic ability, people i care about succeeding a.k.a a brother who scores 18 points in a youth Y game. (He's 8!) And, LONG POSTS.

This was a long post, but it was well deserved. i am looking forward to the rest of this week. and i hope that things arent quite as random as last week, but a little randomness never hurt. sorry no quote for you this time, the end is kinda rushed, got that whold homework thing going on. i mean seriously! Ah, well, til next time..!

The Way the Cookie Crumbles

So sometimes stuff happens in strange order. To start at the begiNNing. my day yesterday was whack! wiggidy whack. I didnt get anything accomplished. Okay so I was semi-productive, but it was not one of those days where you look back and say "wow, i am really impressed with how much i got done today!" but again, sometimes that is how it goes.

So I dont get a whole lot done during the day, but i am really looking forward to my night ahead. i finally decided what i wanted to do. I decided to save Jayne from her own self pity, and lack of people to talk to, and go to our girls game (Topeka High). unfortunately for me, i chose the wrong game to go to, but that's not the point. So the girls game was not very exciting. They played well, but could not avoid being overcome by a press that they could not figure out, and a hot shooting Seaman team. following the girl's game, i left to go over to Cair Paravel for their boys game. it was not quite as interesting as last week. im sorry to all the people who were encouraging another"airball" chant to begin. i just didnt have it in me. i would hate to go to someone elses school and get kicked out for being unruly, and set a poor example for those less fortunate private school kids!

After the boys game at CP, we had another one of those sessions where you have to figure out what is going to happen. This week it was not such an issue of where to go, but more, what to do. There were a few people going here and a few going there, and my sister had left, and being the good kid I am, i called home to see if I could go to someone's house. it was comfirmed, negatively that I could do what i wanted to do. so now, I get to go home, early, on a Friday night. that could have been enough to make me upset enough to not want to do anything, but i am a pretty understanding guy, so I invited a few people over, and obliged my parents upon my arrival at home. once there, the next few hours were spent relaxing, listening to music, playing hearts, and just socializing. A night on which, could have been spent in great emotional agony at not having ne thing to do, but positively turned into a night of good conversation and just good interaction.

I guess i really missed out on a great game for the High boys, and an interesting Royalty ceremony, but as i think about it, i would say that i got the better end of the deal, and things worked out in my positive.

Quote of the day:
"We often only attribute common sense to those who agree with us"
(i missed who said it, sorry)

Don't forget that on days like today, the cold and rainy ones, the best way to avoid the misery on the inside that is seen on the outside, stay close to the things that will in turn, be the sunshine that brightens up an otherwise gray orientation to the world.

The BEGINNING!

Well, i have finally given up the fight against blogs. as violetly as i have fought.. ok, so ive been jealous of those of you who have these since the begining. but now i have a blog that i dont need to know all of that crazy computer lingo, and i am thankful for that. but there is only so much i can take when i cant comment on people's posts because i am not a "blogger". so much for producing my case as to why i am a flip-flopper on this topic. i actually was aked last nigt if i was into this whole bloggin thing, and answered an emphatic "No", and look at me today.

I was pretty happy with how things went last night. Rubbish went well, and i was glad to be able to talk about sutff i am passionate about. aka relationships and people in general. then again i am always glad to go and be around those people that build me up. thats the awesome thing about going to a church that has Christian private school kids who dont have all of the public school crap to deal with. Granted they have their own drama, but really, its nothing compared to this other stuff. Almost everyday i have to go to school with an open mind, unable to imagine some of the things that happened over the weekend, and lots of times i dont want to know. There really just isnt anything like being able to hang out with a group of people who have the same goals and aspirations as you do, and not have to worry about the activities that will go on when you guys are together. (Party For Two..? well you know what i meant)

Going to Rubbish is so crazy to think about for me. i mean the things we talk about in the groups we are in, its just crazy how God works sometimes. You are talking about personal items with people you may not usually talk to, then you tell them things you might struggle with while they do the same. but the greatest thing is being able to get opinions from people you wouldnt listen to, and they apply to you in a way that you can adopt their theology as your own, and everyone benefits! how does that work?

Here's to wondering whether itis worth it to me to go to our Royalty of Courts basketball gameon Friday, even though i didnt vote, and dont want to open myself up to such utter diappointment to have to watch T.P. play in my spot, all the while knowing how much I despise his soul. im aware that my attitude toward him is not Christ like, but i mean seriously.. its SOO hard. some of you have heard the stories and know what i am talking about.

Here's to not having to worry about college prep stuff this year! sorry to those seniors that have to do all the paperwork and stuff. roommates, dorms, classes, scholarships, acceptance, ... sorry, im sure you have enough on your minds to have to hear things from me.

Quote of the Day from Yogi Berra
"I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"

What a good philosphy to apply to one's life!

Well, it was just the first post, so things should get easier from here, hopefully soon i will have something good to talk about.